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Lesson Marriage Etiquette.

In this lesson, we learn about some marriage etiquette.

An explanation of the importance of each of the newlyweds to display the etiquettes of marriage.
Awareness of several of the essential etiquettes as instructed in Islam.

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This lesson is translated into the following languages:

አማርኛ العربية বাংলা Español Français हिन्दी ភាសាខ្មែរ മലയാളം नेपाली Oromoo پښتو Português සිංහල Kiswahili தமிழ் Tagalog Uyƣurqə / ئۇيغۇرچە اردو Tiếng Việt

In addition to the legal rulings related to marriage, some of which pertain to before the contract, some during the contract, and some after it. Islam has enwrapped marriage with etiquettes that each spouse should uphold out of hope for the reward from Allah and to preserve the strength and durability of the marital relationship.

1- Intention

The intention has a great place in Islam, as evidenced by the well-known narration: «Indeed actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended.» (Al-Bukhari, 1, Muslim, 1907) So the spouses should keep in mind the good intention in marriage. Rather, it is from sound intellect that a person has increased intentions to increase the reward. Included in good intentions in marriage is the manifestation of one of the signs of Allah, complying with the legislated command that is desirable in marriage, and hoping that righteous offspring will come from them that worship Allah alone, and each of the spouses maintain their purity for each other protecting themselves from temptation, and so on.

2- Following the recommended acts on the night of marriage.

Gentleness of the husband when he goes to his wife.

The husband places his hand on his wife's forelock (the front part of the head) and supplicates with the supplication that the Prophet ﷺ taught us: «O Allah, I ask You for the goodness of her and the goodness upon which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil of her, and from the evil upon which You have created.» (Ibn Majah, 1918).

As some of the companions advised, the husband prays two rak’ahs with his wife.

Supplication before sexual intercourse, for the man to say: «In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep Satan away from us, and keep Satan away from what You have given us.» (Al-Bukhari, 3271, Muslim, 1434).

Avoid what Allah has forbidden when cohabiting, as it is forbidden for a man to enter his wife in her anus or during her menstruation.

If a man has intercourse with his wife and then wants to go back, then it is Sunnah for him to perform ablution because of the narration: «If one of you goes to his wife and then wants to go back, let him perform ablution.» (Muslim, 308).

The man or woman should not share the secrets of their passion with others. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: «Among those who will have the worst position in the sight of Allah on the day of resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife, and she with him, and then spreads her secret.» (Muslim, 1437).

3- The Wedding Feast

The wedding feast is an emphasized tradition (of the Prophet ﷺ) due to his statement to Abdur Rahman bin 'Awf (may Allah be pleased with him) when he got married: «Hold a wedding feast, even if only with a sheep.» (Al-Bukhari, 2048, Muslim, 1427).

What should be taken into consideration for the wedding feast?

It should not be limited to inviting the rich, as the Prophet ﷺ: «The worst food is the food of a banquet, to which the rich are invited, and the poor are left.» (Al-Bukhari 5177, Muslim, 1432).

That the feast be held with one sheep or more if the ability is there, but without extravagance.

It is permissible that the feast be held without meat.

4- Women Singing on the Wedding Night

It is permissible for women only to sing with good, permissible words and to beat the daf (a round wooden frame with a thin translucent head made of fish or goat skin) in isolation from men and without the use of musical instruments. This display of joy and pleasure during this momentous occasion is permissible in Islam.

5- Living Together in Kindness

One of the emphasized etiquettes of marriage is cohabitation with kindness. To ensure that the mutual affection with which the spouses live will lead to a lifetime of happiness if Allah wills. Allah says (And live with them kindly.) [An-Nisa:19].

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