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Lesson The Rules of Engagement Between Genders
Islamic legislation regulates people’s affairs in all aspects of life, including dealings between men and women. Allah created the male and female to be attracted to each other, and the result of this attraction is limited and legal through the outlet of marriage. Otherwise, it becomes a gateway to evil and one of the most severe forms of temptation. The Messenger ﷺ said: «I have not left after me a trial more harmful to men than women» (Al-Bukhari, 5096, Muslim, 2741).
The most dangerous thing the relationship between a man and a woman can lead to is adultery. The pure legislation is not content with just forbidding this obscenity but warns against getting close to it or those things that lead to it. Allah says: (Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way) [Al-Isra:32] And the Prophet said ﷺ: «The fornication of the eyes consists in looking, of the ears in hearing, of the tongue in speech, of the hand in violence, and of the foot in walking. The heart lusts and wishes and the private parts agree or reject it.» (Al-Bukhari, 6243, Muslim, 2657. The wording is the latter's.).
The pure legislation is keen on people not falling into any deviation or mistake which might lead them to something which will bring severe consequences. So it has put in place several controls in the dealings of men with women when the need arises, such as buying and selling and other permissible transactions, or when there is a dire necessity. For instance, a male doctor treats a woman when no female doctor is available. These controls include the following:
Lowering the Gaze
Avoid touching or shaking hands
Avoid being in seclusion (with the opposite sex)
There are specific rules that a Muslim woman must adhere to when the need to interact with men arises.
A Muslim woman must adhere to the regulations of the legislation, in compliance with the command of Allah first and foremost, forcing men to respect her and not harm her in action, speech, or staring at her. Allah says: (O Prophet! Ask your wives, daughters, and believing women to draw cloaks over their bodies. In this way, they will more likely be recognized ˹as virtuous˺ and not be harassed. And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) [Al-Ahzab:59]
